Forgive and Forget
by mollywolly
Summary: The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget. -Thomas Szasz
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: All belongs to JK ROWLING.

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Maya Angelou

_Prologue:_

To forgive and forget. Sounds easy enough, doesn't it? Sure, all someone has to do is apologize. A simple, "I'm sorry." That's all it takes. Yet sometimes, it is not so easy. Words are exchanged; feelings damaged, walls broken, and hearts left a wreck. Then those artificial words mean nothing. They aren't so simple anymore. It's hard to forgive. And that one unbefitting word of forget cannot be said or done.

Because it isn't easy to just forget. It's engraved into your mind. That one event incident that caused a friendship to take a drastic fall down memory lane can no longer be forgotten. You'll always remember. And you'll always remember that you did nothing about it. You didn't _try_ to perform those words. You didn't _try_ to say sorry. You didn't _try_ to forget. And _that_ makes all the difference.


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All belongs to JK ROWLING.

_Chapter One._

The streets were littered with cheery people, armored in the warmth of their coats, scarves, and hats. Snowflakes were gently falling and twisting in the dark skies, one by one they fell to the earth. The lamp posts were alight, reflecting the shadows of the buildings. Casting light to the snow-covered sidewalks and streets.

A girl of about twenty years walked along the sidewalk, wrapped up in an old Gryffindor scarf and a worn wool hat. Her face was rosy from the coldness of the evening, yet it held a small frown. She made her way to the broken-down building and opened the door. The entrance of The Leaky Cauldron appeared before her, warmth invading her chilled body. She made her way into the building and took her usual spot in a corner booth.

She unwrapped her scarf and let it hang around her neck freely. Picking off her red mittens, she set them in her worn satchel that was beside her.

"'Ello, Miss Evans, the usual?" Lily looked up and nodded at the male server, giving a small smile.

It pained Lily to smile.

Twenty minutes later, after Lily devoured her hot chocolate and warm soup, she paid for her meal and made her way into Diagon Alley and apparated.

The Wizard community came into view almost immediately. Once she hit solid ground, Lily started walking quickly. Bundled in her scarf, mittens, and hat, and bound tightly in her jumper, she made her way to her destination.

Stepping in front of the Potter Manor, she closed her eyes tightly and opened the gate, making sure no one was around her. Making her way up the snow cleared pathway, she knocked four times and waited in silence.

She waited.

And waited.

She was getting impatient.

Really impatient.

Lily groaned and pulled her woolen hat to cover her now pink ears.

Hearing a fast movement of heavy footsteps behind the door, she anticipated the opening of the door. Jumping slightly on her toes, to keep warm, the large wooden door finally opened.

"Oh, sorry, Lily," an out of breath Frank Longbottom expelled, "come on in." Frank grabbed Lily by the elbow leading her inside the warmth.

"Thanks, Frank," Lily whispered, rubbing her hands to gain back some heat. He gave a Lily a smile.

"Everybody is upstairs, let's go," he said.

Frank's tall and lanky frame lead Lily up a winding, elegant stone staircase, her tennis shoes squeaking with the melting snow on her soles as she followed. Lily followed the brunette, recognizing the familiarities of the home. The scent of cinnamon and worn books, the detailed photographs nodding at Lily, welcoming her back. She gave them all sympathetic smiles as she passed each one of them. Hard as it was for her, she sure missed it here.

Longbottom lead her through familiar halls until they reached an unnoticeable doorway, which Lily had never noticed before. She raised an eyebrow as Frank opened the door, letting her walk in first. She was greeted with the usual waves and a nod from Dumbledore, his deep blue eyes twinkling in her direction.

"Please, do sit, Lily," the kind man told her. She complied and took a seat at the circular table, holding all of its members. The room was quite small, but it held its purpose. A crackling fire, with its waves of heat expelling, warming the quaint room. The room held a sense of sadness, but composure. Lily could tell that something important was going to be told and she didn't want to know. She didn't want to know who died. She didn't want to know who saw the face of Voldemort and risked their life for the sake of someone like herself. She looked around the table at the faces that surrounded her: Frank and Alice, Dorcas, Marlene, Caradoc, Moody, James, Sirius, Remus, Peter and Arthur. And other faces that blurred before her; she shook her head, the twins were missing. Lily winced at the recognition.

Lily undressed herself of her winter necessities, but kept her hat on, her long auburn tendrils falling in a curly mess down her back. Her jumper hid her phoenix tee that many of the members had on. It showed their willingness to fight, their pride in the Order.

Arthur Weasley's brown eyes came into contact with Lily's burning emerald ones. Lily nodded in understanding, and let out a choked sob quietly.

"I'm sorry to report another loss." Dumbledore stood and bowed his head. "Fabian and Gideon Prewett were killed," the elderly man spoke gently. "They were faced with five Death Eaters." Albus talked quietly. "I believe they were killed by Dolohov. They were found last night, their flat completely torn apart. We are unsure how the Death Eaters found their way in, but they unfortunately succeeded."

"They fought like heroes!" Alastor Moody banged his fist against the table angrily in his coarse voice. Everyone nodded in agreement. "Brave men they were!" he continued, shaking his head and slumping back in his seat.

The Order meeting went on for two hours more, making up some kind of plans, arrangements, and how to provide more protection. As per usual, Lily sat and watched intently, adding her opinions and suggestions occasionally.

When the meeting conjured, Lily stood up and walked to the now dying fire. Her head was bowed, her eyes tightly held closed. She did not want to cry any longer. Ever since fifth year, it was all she did. Lily needed to hold herself together. Her smalls arms wrapped around her body, as her bright red hair hid her pale face.

Then an arm snaked around Lily's shoulders, and looking up, she faced James Potter. Taking in his appearance she quickly wound her arms around his waist. Burying her head in his chest, she cried. And cried, until the tears couldn't fall any longer.

"Shh, Lily." James rubbed her back, trying to sooth the girl. "Lily, everything going to be fine," he said as he rested his chin on her head. Her height was short compared to James, she barely reached his shoulders.

"It can't be alright, James." Her muffled words held truth, and James couldn't deny it.

/&/

A/N: Perhaps you want to review?


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: All belongs to JK ROWLING.

_Chapter Two:_

It's been a week since the last Order meeting. A week since she last let James hold her in his arms. A week since she talked to him. A week since she was a right idiot to even let him hold her. Lily shook her head; she was clad in her usual wear of jeans and a plain T-shirt. A thin pair of slippers adorned her small feet. She made her way through her tiny kitchen, making a cup of coffee. She wasn't a fan to tea, its taste wasn't strong enough for her, and its warmth would send her straight to bed. Coffee at least allowed her to have a kick of energy and not let her fall into a slumber.

Wrapping her hands around her mug, she made her way to the hallway, grabbing her winter apparel and slipping into her trainers. With another quick sip of her drink, Lily set the glass down and apparated. Just like she promised, she saw the boy she was supposed to see.

Making her way over to the swing set, she took a seat next to Remus Lupin, making him jump at the snap of her arrival. They were in a Muggle park, the time nearing to midnight, the stars flickering brightly, the street lamps lighting up the playground. It was desolate, but peaceful, snow barely covering the fading grass.

Lupin turned to face Lily while he was gently swinging on the metal contraption. "Hi, Lily." His voice was soft and held concern.

"Remus."

"How are you holding up?"

Lily winced. "Alright, I guess."

"You don't have to lie, tell me the truth," Remus asked forcefully, yet it was lined in sadness.

The red head shook her head. "It's the truth".

He lowered his brown eyes. "At least tell me why you asked me here, out of all the days of the week and the time! Goodness, Lily, it's nearing one o'clock in the morning."

Lily chuckled. "Hey, it's my favourite time of the day." She grinned and started swinging a little faster, her hair flowing through the chilled wind.

They swung on the rickety swings, until the air was getting bitterer and they could barely bend their now frozen fingers.

Remus gave a sympathetic smile as he watched his friend. Lily saw this and looked down at her pillar. The one who held her together. The one who helped her with all her problems. The one who gave some hell of advice and mighty good hugs. She held out her hand and felt his rough fingers hold onto her.

Standing up, he let Lily jump off her swing, fly through the air and land clumsily in front of him. Lily smiled and hugged Remus. "Thanks, buddy."

"No problem, Lily." He released her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Anything for one of my best friends."

Lily gave a weary smile and made her way out of Remus' grip and walked over to the park bench.

Remus followed hesitantly, placing himself next to the frail girl.

Sticking her mitten covered hands into her pocket Lily spoke out. "So … How are the famous Marauders? Wreaking havoc across London as per usual?" She sighed, her hot breath making little clouds in the darkness.

He chuckled, "As always, we have to liven up everyone somehow." His pale and scratched face contorted a bit. "It's a dark place now; we all need a bit of laughter and fun."

"I know."

"You know, you can ask about him, I won't tell." He eyed Lily as she winced.

"I don't want to know anything about him."

Remus rolled his dark brown eyes. "Right, Lily, and I'm not a werewolf."

Lily repeated the eye roll back to him and grumbled, "Fine."

The werewolf gave a victory smile. "He misses you."

She turned to face him, her features were saddened and her eyes showed remorse. She pulled her hat further down over her curls and stared out at the empty park.

"I was a prat, wasn't I?"

Moments passed as Remus contemplated his answer.

"No, you weren't Lily," he sighed. "We all understood, maybe not right then, but now we do."

"Fine, then, I was a complete lunatic who ran away from a perfectly good best friend and boyfriend, who made him look like a fool, heart broken, and alone.

"I'm awful, completely horrid."

"Better?" The words spilled out in a hurried mess with a hopeless sigh at the end.

"Not even close, Lily. Sure you broke his heart, but it's slowly rebuilding with the help of you returning. You should have seen him the day we heard you came back, he was ecstatic."

"I'm sorry."

"I know, Lily, you might want to go check up on James, though, he needs you and as much as you don't want to admit it, you need him."

Silence ensued for minutes, until the quiet, but strong "I know" was heard.

/&/

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